The Here Zone, because wherever you go, you're always Here
Cat Destroys Universe
Unconfirmed reports say that last night around two am eastern standard time, a cat destroyed the universe.
Mary Jones told reporters this morning that she was afraid her cat may have destroyed the universe late last night. "He was just sitting there... looking really mad.... and then WHAM! He destroyed the universe." remarked Mary. Fluffy, the cat accused of destroying the universe had this to say "...."
It is predicted that the cat will be found guilty and have his catnip priveleges revoked for three to four days. - July 16, 2000
Local Man Says Sun is "Too Dang Hot"
Local man, Jed Moris, says the sun is "Just too dang hot!" This comment was provoced after the day before Jed suffered severe sunburn while sitting on his lawn getting drunk.
"I never did anything to the sun, why's it gotta pick on me?!" shouted an outraged Jed.
Despite Jed's plea for a cooler sun, it is unlikely that congress will vote his plan into action. Congressman William James remarked, "Who are you people and what are you doing in my house?!?!" when confronted about the situation.
Jed feels that this whole ordeal is, "a load of bull hockey." "When a man can't get drunk in his own yard without sum dang sun comin around. Well, let's just say that America's in one sorry state of affairs." - July 16, 2000